I FEEL HAPPY

Yes I know, it's been quite a while since I updated this blog. But at least, this time I was able to get into it without calling Jamie for HELP!!!! That pleases me no end.

I was going to write about putting Kizzy down the week before Christmas, but I couldn't. That hurt too much. There were a series of loveable dogs that came into my life. Even though it was short lived. I was sure that Gabby would fill the empty place in my heart. She is so loveable. But that would break Ariyah's heart............... The stuffed, floppy eared dog that Judy bought me for Christmas, wears Kizzy's collar and dog tags. Aubree still sleeps with her, drags her around and plays tug o war with her. I have had to make two major repairs on the hind legs. I am thinking that will be an on going project. But Aubree and I have settled in to just the two of us. She must be lonely without her sister, on those long days when I am at the Temple. Trey said it best the last time I was invitied for dinner at the Brunson household. " Your dad died, didn't he?" asked Trey, "Yes, grandpa died.? Then Trey said something that made me sit up and take notice. "But you don't want another dad, you and Aubree will be just okay, all by yourselves. You don't want another puppy either..........just you and Aubree." " Yes Trey, Just me and Aubree."

Thats about it and you know, its okay. Aubree has never had all the attention by herself. She has always had another dog be the boss, except when she played the mother role to Kizzy, groming her, or growling at her all the way down the stairs when they went out side to potty.
Maybe Aubree misses being the mommy. I still miss the good times those two shared together.

When Dee Ann and I flew out to Penn. for Andys graduation Jan 14th, I baught a paperback book at the airport. Mareley and Me. I didn't know what I was in for. I laughed most of the way to Pa. That was such a fun ride. But on the way home, I cried. I died inside, feeling the pain all over again. Remembering the look in Kizzy's eyes. "Help me mama", she spoke to me through her eyes. She was so sick, she had gone down hiss so fast, she just couldn't get better. There was only one thing to do so she didn't suffer any more. Richard was there to help me through. He held me and we cried together.

The Tilte of this blog had something to do with Happiness. That's true. I am happy. There are a lot of losses and unwanted changes in this life. Why me? isn't the question! Why not me and what can I learn from these challanges? Is the real question. I didn't start out to write about losing Kizzy, but maybe I needed to.......so I can remember her with joy instead of sorrow.

Next time I'll fill in the blanks about the visit to Pa. and the great time I had in Las Vegas.

Love, G.H.